i’ve been drinking at least 2 liters of water everyday now for the past 2 weeks. My body is all kinds of flushed. Here’s hoping I don’t drown.
I’ve moved from the peasants’ diet (bread+water=meal) to eating salads and trying to eat breakfast.
desperately want to get back into shape.
Aiden needs to not leave for the weekend. I don’t know what the hell happened while he was gone, but somehow i managed to gain weight. 2 days! 2 days and i manage to feel bloated and look a bit ‘fuller’.
Perhaps it is my inability to ration out appropriate portions. Perhaps it’s the fact that i spent all weekend going out drinking.
Yeah, that’s probably it. As much fun as it was to go out both on Friday and Saturday night, it was counterproductive to any attempt I made towards being healthy. This is why I REALLY don’t like drinking: I just get fat for a couple of hours of belligerence.
The only time that drinking helped me at all to stay skinny (remember, I said skinny, not healthy) was when I was a drunkarexic throughout college. ”Oh, we’re going to be going to a party tonight, fuck eating, I’ll hold out and just get drunk of nothing!” I was so skinny. SOOOO SKINNY…. Now all that being a sober person has done to me is made it more difficult to overcome my fat girl tendencies.
I want to be healthy again. I think my peak was roughly 2 years ago, when I was basically unemployed and living at my parents. I had all the time in the world to do something productive, since finding a job was clearly not working. So I focused on my body. I got so fit over the summer. That’s just before I met Aiden.
Aiden must have been so happy about my appearance at the time: tan, lean, gorgeous. Doable. I managed to keep this great shape throughout the first year of our relationship. Heading into year 2, however, I was working all the time and was spending all my free time with him (something that didn’t happen before b/c we had no free time together for 6 months since he was in South Africa). I like spending time with him. But to be honest, the only exercise that ever happens when we are together in in the bedroom.
By the way, I am writing this post and I just realized that it is my subconscious attempt at avoiding going on the run that I said I was about to leave the house for.